Gothic Child

Boses ko lang... Mga sumpa na inilatag ng aking tinig...

Staring down from where I was once slain, I shed a tear while silently screaming the curse you've cast upon my soul. Dissonant voices I hear, they all upon me, yearning for me. I know I must go.

One upon a time I saw you waving at me, hailing my name like you'll never let me fall and so my ascension happened. I've been bloated by your decietful words, you let me fall into pieces and now my wings are broken.

I am descending from the heaven to the graveyards of hinnum. Let me bleed, let my spirit be eaten by darkness for eternity. This pain is your gift for the wake of my body, I must endure.

Mournie Utulie let my mourning be my prayer. I cast my sanity, all of my pain to this requiem for my dying soul.

Animo Alantie, I shall grieve. I may suumb but I will raise again for in your veins I'll crawl til you and I quench my thirst of blood.

When I come down I'll look up from there just to search for you. I'll raise my hand til I reach the ground, hoping to catch a wreath from you, my bittersweet ghost.

In life and in death you'll never look back for me so I weap, you may never cry on my tombstone  but I shall huant you even in your dreams.

Forever undead is my decaying heart, forever in dusk is my spirit...

So let it decsend, let me fall.

A petal was tossed like a coin from below

A voice was heard like a keen or requiem.

 

A soul has lost it's path

Hear it plead when salvation is nowhere

See it flicker as a shadow from below puls it down.

 

An empty body has been eaten by dirt,

Decaying flesh and crashing bones descending from

Heaven to the graveyard.

 

A voice was heard from below

From the valleys of Hinnum to the graveyards of Gaeia

a wicked praaayer was heard.

 

9/11/06

Step one...

White lights are blinding me.
Another step, a shadow bursts from within me.
As I take the next step whispering word ushers
from a graveyard to my ears.

In darkness I may be but nothing's
erring, it's my soul's desire...
It's my own dharma.

I am inside of me and what I feel seems vague.
I am inside of me and what I see seems so blurred.
In this silent tomb I lay.

My lips are sealed,
My eyes are bleak,
and my hands they bleed.

The echoing voice that I hear
It tells my suffering over and over
Like a guilt that trespasses my soul.

Conveying every tears that I cried,
every pain that I felt.

And this is my cradle
Here I am safe.
Here, where I lay
Is where I have lived
and where I abide
and where I will die.

My sweet sepulchre, embrace me...

..and I am the portrait of everybody's sanity

"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.
Consciously, you've forgotten it.
That's the way the human mind works.
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us
to entertain, we reject it.
We erase it from our memories.
But the imprint is always there."

(Can't wash it all away)
(Can't Wish it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
(Can't cry it all away)

The pain that grips you
The fear that binds you
Releases life in me
In our mutual
Shame we idolize
To blind them from the truth
That finds a way from who we are
Please don't be afraid
When the darkness fades away
The dawn will break the silence
Screaming in our hearts
My love for you still grows
This I do for you
Before I try to fight the truth my final time

"We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

Lying beside you
Listening to you breathe
The life that flows inside of you
Burns inside of me
Hold and speak to me
Of love without a sound
Tell me you will live through this
And I will die for you
Cast me not away
Say you'll be with me
For I know I cannot
Bear it all alone

"You're not alone, honey."
"Never... Never."

Can't fight it all away
Can't hope it all away
Can't scream it all away
It just won't fade away, No,no, no ,no.

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away

(Can't fight it all away)
(Can't hope it all away)
Can't scream it all away
Ooh, it all away
Ooh, it all away
(It all away)
"But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
"Because I'm dying too."
"Because I'm dying too."
"Because I'm dying too."
"Because I'm dying too."
"Because I'm dying too."

It is when she left that I found my self thinking about the solace our lonely thoughts bring, and this grieving soul may not take this all but somewhere and somehow I found her BL33DING TOO...

She may never take it as I am doing this...
I may never see it the way she sees it...

Yesterday was here
and today is gone
but I will be seeing you the day after this agony ends...

Amor vincit omnea..

Sometimes I am blinded by the lights surrounding me because I have been into darkness for so long now. I don't believe in love until you came, I don't abide in light until you reached out for me below. With you, love has no definition. Just a feeling inside the heart that needs not to look for it does not choose whom it'll come.

 

Hear me calling out your name every time my heart beats and every time I breathe. The melancholic songs of the past still haunt me but I know, with you I can conquer it all. With your sincere avowal of love I am safe.

 

If you wish to shelter on me, you need not to ask for my spirit is within you. You will never be alone as long as I am still.

 

 

I'll rest in you and I'll comfort you

I have lived and I'll die for you..

Abide in me and I'll vow to you, I will never forsake you.

 

I Love You

ethereal

A man is talking to his image on the  mirror. Always hated his face but now  talking to it like shit. Knowing his  not fine, his tears keep on falling  down. How she made him sad. It's hard  to say... 

Man: If I am broke, I am just broke. No  matter how I feel I'm just a picture  inside your box, a voice within the  line, and a word inside a space. If I  cry or scream, I'm just in pain. Just  another feeling caught between the  beats of my heart. Just another  feeling I am so used to. If I've been  cheated, I've just been cheated. No  matter what I do I'm just an ALIBI. If  I bleed, I just bleed. You just let me  bleed. Just let me be in vain, you  know I'm so used to it.. 

And if you left me, you just left me.  This man here you've got is so used to  be left behind. You may  never grieve  for me, you may never care but if I  have wronged you please forgive.   

I HAVE LOVED YOU and loving you  still... 

I will let it be the LAST.  

"If every second of our lives reccurs an infinite number of times, we are nailed to eternity as jesus christ was nailed to the cross. This is a terrifying prospect. In the world of eternal return, the weght of unbearable lightness lies heavy  in every move we make..."

-Milan Kundera
Unbearable Lightness of Being

It has always been dark here on my place, but yet, the night always falls so slow. I often dream of the moment when the twilight shall touch my senses while gazing at the picture of the goddess I have always longed to be with.

Amidst the darkness I'll walk. I shall haunt you untill the end of your every dream and your awekening is my death that will serve as a curse of eternal passion and sorrow...

Her sanity binds us all. We are haunted by her and she is haunted by us.. Her sweet dead eyes imply the darkness within her, within us... Isabel, we are walking. Isabel, we are falling, we are grieving. Isabel, you are leaving. Leaving with thy soul that griefs my spirit. Ascending from below you came and now you'll be gone. As soon as the black bird embraces you, your existence on my heart will always be a bitter-sweet indulgence..Pain is all we have. Isabel..Isabel...Isabel. You will always be an image inside this wounded photo frame.. Isabel, we are one.

The rain drops fall...
I have been reading your letter .

Your  sentences are carefully woven,
the delicate handwritting caresses the paper
while my teardrops melt each word on it.

The reincarnation of life seems believable while I breathe.
You could have been a guru or something.
Whatever happened to that hallow mascular organ of yours towards mine,
the excistence of raindrops on your letter could have been a part of a cloudly premonition of the truth which leads my spirits to you.

And the raindrops fell that night...

May. 12, 2006
03:46 AM

Love me
Leave me
Kill me

You
and
I
will
never be...

The pain is all that's left...
I have been forsaken.

Hide me from my self before I die,
on the other side I abide
where the betrayed ones are fallen and undead.

Say you'll be with me
"I'll always be with you"

Say that you'll never leave
"I'll never leave your side"

How can seclusion be so cruel?
How can words be so decieving?
How can you be so cold?

Vanity
Lust
Infatuation

Feed me with such things...

Now,
who's left now?

Now,
who's crying now?

Now,
who's dying now?

Now,
Let it all fall.

I have lived and I'll die for you..